May the Fourth Be With You: STAR WARS

GENERIC POST
Today's International Star Wars Day (and the paper's running that across the top of the front page) so we're doing a little generic post today! Not even entirely themed around cinema, because anyone who knows me knows that since Disney bought LucasArts I've been looking for one particular movie trilogy, and it was not a sequel to the original.



Because COME ON! He's like the granddaddy of all Sith Lords (screw you Revan, you don't count.)

 Actually, this trailer...

Y'know what? Instead of some generic story about how great one of the greatest film franchises of all time is, I think I will make this one about a single cinematic idea. That one!

That's the trilogy we deserve, and the one we need. A story that's not rife with overdone with characters, extrapolated nonsense and derivative useless villains. I'm not one to say a Star Wars movie sucks, I'll generally admit that I like all seven, I'll pick favorites and choose sides just like most anyone else, but generally they're all pretty good movies. At the same time, why not take a new approach, from an old legend, and give a true Sith the lime light.



As simply fantastic as a continuing existence of the Sith is, as they are the Tails of the Force coin, the inevitable Yin to the Jedi's Yang, it's kind of a given, we don't need another movie to say "Oh, by the way, Luke failed." Although, realistically, he didn't. If the entire purpose of the Skywalker line was bring to balance to the force, and Ben Solo turned all evil and became a Sith lord, and left the light side with one master, who would seek out an apprentice, and the dark side with one master and apprentice, their goal is achieved. Balance would exist in the force. If anything, when Anakin went all monster-baby-killer in Episode III he was fulfilling the prophecy.

But, all of that aside, Kylo Ren is just a terrible Sith. Sure, he has the "being emotional" thing down, but...if being emotional was what it took to be a good Sith, he wouldn't lose so terribly. He's a child, he fights like a child, he thinks like a child and he throws tantrums like a child. As much as we want Kylo Ren to be this epitome of evil, he's only a toddler with a lightsaber. The Sith can't just be emotional, otherwise they lose almost everything they have. Sidious succeeded in all of the Sith's goals (except eliminating the Jedi, but if Vader weren't so useless that wouldn't have been a problem, just KILL PADME!) not by being an emotional little brat, but by being cunning, calm and in control. That didn't prevent him from having anger or expressing hatred, but he knew how and when to do it, and he harnessed that preparedness for the future. Sounds like someone else...

 Didn't watch this video...just liked the image.

Darth Bane, the originator of the modern Rule of Two (if I recall Revan first thought up the idea, but hey, he couldn't choose between the Jedi and the Sith, so whatever,) is perhaps the epitome of the Sith (until his final days, where he kind of screws things up due to the very basis of his ideology,) introducing the system of power purification that would eventually lead to the (near) destruction of the Jedi, the fall of the Galactic Republic, and the establishment of a new Galactic Empire (for a couple decades.)

Bane represents all that the Dark Side ought to: cunning, power and treachery. With a will and desire to grow, no matter the cost, and a vision that spans centuries (see: Sidious' Galactic Empire.)

 Zannah and the Sith Code

So yeah, that first video I linked to, that Darth Bane Trilogy Movie Trailer. Why is Disney not doing this?! Sure, that trailer wasn't the most enthusing thing on youtube, amateur trailers seldom are, but it was darn decent for an amateur trailer, and the very idea of a Darth Bane movie makes my hair stand on end!

  Come on Disney...Do it!

That's it really, I guess, I just really like the Star Wars franchise and REALLY REALLY hope we get this movie some day. Although apparently that won't happen for at least another four years or something. Money grubbing Disney...refusing to do new things just because "Han Solo" and "Rogue Squadron" are so friggin' popular...

Thanks for joining me on this ranting dribble! Peace out!

The Saga Continues: STAR WARS VII: THE FORCE AWAKENS

Into the Tedium
Five posts a week is my goal, I know, I said every day, I changed my mind, there's not as much material as I thought and I can't just pump out three on Friday and weekends are...well...weekends. Besides, if you need seven a week, try out ten and go look at My Arcade! In which case, the two extra I did last Friday, were for last Monday and Tuesday. If I do occasionally put out more than one a day, awesome, otherwise, goal achieved!

I was saving this for my last post of the week, which will be this one, so awesome!

TITLE: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens


DETAILS:
            DIRECTOR: J.J. Abrams
            LEAD ACTRESS: Daisy Ridley
            ANTAGONIST LEAD: Adam Driver

SUMMARY:

Three decades after the defeat of the Galactic Empire, a new threat arises. The First Order attempts to rule the galaxy and only a ragtag group of heroes can stop them, along with the help of the Resistance.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE: 

Yay! Here's one I've been waiting on since they said it was happening! Actually...before they said it was happening, but whatever. Unfortunately...it's all hype. :p Not really! I hear a lot of people give this movie flack, and there's really no grounds for it except for some slight character inconsistencies.

I'll say this much, I really enjoyed this movie, they brought in some old style special effects to play right alongside CGI masterfully, they introduced new characters and revived old characters with skill. They gave us a story that was clearly successful the first time it was told! Okay...so maybe I can see where someone might complain that the idea wasn't entirely original, but then again, if it was, we (as a fandom) probably would have hated it. Before I go into spoiler territory I'll state that the cast was generally believable and the musical score was of course amazing (I mean, the same guy did it, obviously.)

IT'S A SPOILER!

Okay, even though I can give it plenty of praise, I can also bash it quite a bit, but then, sometimes a little research can go a long way. For instance, when I watched the film I spotted a flag that stood out in my mind as holding the emblem of the Mandalorian tribes. Now, at first that registered to me as the last place a smuggler who has upset a lot of people would go, I mean, it's already been stated that Solo has a bounty on his head bigger than the price of the first Death Star (space hyperbole for the win) so naturally he should avoid a group that specializes in mercenary work and bounty hunting! I did a bit of digging though and apparently the Mandalorians have aligned themselves with the Alliance to Restore the Republic, and I guess that means they may not hunt Solo so eagerly. Okay, but there are also inconsistencies from one moment in the movie to the next, and the most notable one is Finn.

Okay, at the beginning of the movie we are assured by a First Order officer that their storm troopers are the most efficient soldiers in the galaxy and have rendered clones unnecessary. Lo and behold, Finn has never been in combat to prove how efficient he is. Later on Captain Phasma assures us that the stormtrooper known as Finn has never shown any deviation from proper performance before, this refusal to fire on his part being the first of its nature. Later we hear from Finn himself that he was a janitor! A janitor! I'm surprised the guy was even GIVEN any formal training. Why was a JANITOR dispatched alongside Darth Grumpypants on a delicate mission to retrieve a supposedly extremely hard to come by artifact? The galaxy may never know.

Okay, so there's my spiel about Finn. What about Darth Grumpypants himself? Well for starters, apparently he's not a Darth, Kylo Ren is Kylo Ren because he hasn't been officially trained in the ways of the Dark Side or whatever. He's just been trained as a Jedi and turned his back on that path. So why do so many people think he's a great example of a Sith? He's a horrible example of the Sith. The Sith are supposed to be masters of their emotions, not slaves to them. The entire mantra of the Sith is that by harnessing power they are free, Kylo Ren has no control over himself, he isn't free, he's a slave. The slightest bit of bad news sends this man child into fits of rage, destroying millions of credits worth of machinery because of his own slack filled work. I've heard people say that Kylo is a greater Sith than Vader or even Sidious, and I have no clue where this idea comes from. Sure, the kid shows emotion, but that's not what's important, when you are one or two against many, you have to have complete control over everything, including yourself. If Ren was in either of their positions he would have been butchered by now, in fact, if Ren had been Palpatine, the Galactic Empire would never have existed, and all the work of all the Sith Lords before him would have gone to waste. Actually...I guess in that theoretical situation, he would have never become the master, he would have died.

Done ranting about Darth Grumpypants now...on to Rey? I actually didn't hate anything about her, except that she wields a lightsaber better than someone who was trained to use it! Sure, you can argue that she's clearly good at fighting based on her performance on Tatooi- I mean Jakku, but her fighting there was with a staff, not a sword! The two have no bearing on each other! Then there's the way she wields the force during her fight with Ren. Instead of Jedi-ing up and realizing she can't just lash out angrily, when she finally decides to "call upon the force" (which was rather poorly tempo'd anyway) she just gets more angry, definitely not the Jedi way. Okay, so maybe I lied, I did have a second problem with her.

Then there was that whole scene with the lightsaber battle! Finn jumps up, gets knocked right back down, Rey runs in, fights poorly, decides that she's a Jedi, everyone stops. Just stops. The planet stops blowing up, Ren stops aggressing, Rey stops defending, and after she closes her eyes for a minute, she goes back in full power, and suddenly she's better than Ren. Latent force powers or not, she fought the same and won against someone who should have gotten stronger on the defensive when he got madder!

But hey, at least they included Luke in there! Man, loved seeing him throughout the movie. Anyway that's my critique on this one.

RATING:

Nine out of Ten emo kids who wanna be Sith would give this movie Four misused guards on swords, out of Five.

No seriously, those things on Ren's lightsaber? They're guards, designed to defend the hands! They never saw use like that, kid seemed to think they were extra stabby parts or something.