I DARE you to Read This: NERVE (2016)

I'M A WATCHER...
And who wouldn't be in a world where the public might force you to shoot your partner to win a stupid game? Spoiler alert, I don't think so!

TITLE: NERVE


SUMMARY:

A high school senior finds herself immersed in an online game of truth or dare, where her every move starts to become manipulated by an anonymous community of "watchers."

PERSONAL CRITIQUE:

Okay, for starters I have a serious problem with the way trailers work. I kind of thought it only applied to horror films, but apparently not, because there was not a single core scene in this movie that the trailer did not show off. When I say core scene I'm referring to the sort of thematic scenes of the movie. For instance, what's NERVE about? A game of dares. What's did the trailer consist of? Literally every dare in the movie except the ones not performed by the main characters. I mean, literally every dare right down to the "big finale" we knew about just from the trailers.

Secondly, there's a degree of predictability in the movie, like the ending, but we'll get around to that. Partially because every good suspenseful scene has already been ruined for us by the trailers, seriously, maybe we should just get brief synopses of movies with a few pictures of the cast instead of trailers. But if no one has pointed a gun at anyone yet, and I know that the characters with guns in their hands are in good health during that scene, then I know that nothing terrible is going to happen! Still, there were a few good shock scenes in the movie that I enjoyed, so kudos.

Another thing about trailers (yes, I'm stuck on trailers) is when they include scenes or dialogue that don't come up in the movie. I may be mistaken, but I watched the movie last night, and I watched the trailer like ten seconds ago, and I'm pretty certain the cop in the movie doesn't say "Vee, don't do this," but in the trailer he most certainly does. So there's that. I asked myself, for just a moment, should I slap this all in underlined italics, then I was like, no, I'm no worse than the advertising crew!

On the other hand, even with the trailer spoiling the entire movie, I did feel slightly on edge during the blindfolded motorcycle scene, and during the finale, and yes, that one moment in the finale did have me questioning, but only for a split-second, then a chain of events took place that simply proved how pointless stressing was. 

For all my negative feedback, I can't really sleight the movie. It's well constructed, I enjoyed basically every scene, it had good tension and some drama but not so much that I couldn't tolerate it. There was a nerdy sidekick character who got some love by the end of the movie. All in all, pretty darn good. Let's see...

RATING:

Nine out of ten prisoners would give this movie 4.5k watchers out of 5. 

Thanks for playing!

Something's Wrong With: THE VOICES (2014)

OR WHATEVER FOLLOWED IT...
So, while visiting a friend recently I had the pleasure of viewing "The Voices," in glorious high definition, I point this out because we still watch TV on a dinosaur in my home. Something struck me as odd while I watched this movie, something about the actor and a movie he performed in only two years later...Deadpool doesn't have multiple internal voices, but this no-name did!

 (Gifs borrowed from Giphy.com, your welcome.)

THAT'S DARN RIGHT YOU APOLOGIZE RYAN REYNOLDS! TITLE CARD!

TITLE: The Voices


SUMMARY: 

A likable guy pursues his office crush with the help of his evil talking pets, but things turn sinister when she stands him up for a date.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE:

This was a pretty great movie. So you've got this generic seeming character, Jerry, in this lame job that is equivalent to that one job that everybody worked that nobody wanted to work, and everything is normal. Then you're introduced to his talking cat and dog. Okay, everything's not entirely all right. Then we get to meet his psychiatrist (I might have those two events backwards) and now we know what's going on. Jerry's completely loopy.

Unfortunately, movies nowadays don't leave a lot to the imagination, I mean, just look at that box art, you know right off the bat where this movie is going. Need more assistance? You can read that summary up there? Want even more though, how about "Hey man, this is a great movie, but the guy goes A Little Piece of Heaven on his lady."

Well thanks for that. Aha! Not actually in spoiler territory yet! With that being said though, there's not really a necessity for spoiler warnings, I can just say that we get this gradual introduction to everything around Jerry, and deep in the movie we finally learn what really cracked the kid. You know, what really made Jerry, Jerry.

So yeah, if you have the stomach for a decent amount of blood and gore (I mean, nothing compared to Saw!) and aren't offended by cats who curse like sailors, this is a great watch.

RATING: 

Nine out of Ten paranoid schizophrenics would give this movie Four Scottish evil cats, out of Five.

Hardly anything's perfect, but everything's worth watching it seems.

And What I Saw There: ALICE-THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS (2016)

CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER
I've been away for a moment, not written since my rant about Spider-Kid, and I have somehow managed to watch two films over the weekend, the first of which we speak of now.

TITLE: Alice: Through the Looking Glass


SUMMARY: 

Alice returns to the whimsical world of Wonderland and travels back in time to save the Mad Hatter.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE:

There now, that doesn't sound so bad does it? Alice returns to Wonderland and must travel back in time to save the Hatter...see, makes perfect sense. Wait- no, it doesn't really. For starters, for a movie that proclaims nothing is impossible, Ms. Kingsleigh is certainly faced with several impossible features of Underland. Why saving the Hatter from madness? It is the very essence of his being, the whole plot of the movie is that the Hatter is becoming...sane...due to depression, or something, over the supposed loss of his dead of family...or their survival...whatever! So Alice must travel back in time to save the Hatter's family, despite constant assurances by Time himself that you cannot change the past (though you might learn something from it).

There was something off, disappointingly, about our center-piece, the good Hatter, Depp's character. It was...odd, his voice seemed force and the character shifts that should have been rampant seemed almost methodical. Alice is still Alice though, and for that matter most of the characters seem their natural selves, except Hatter, which I suppose is fitting as he is the key character who is changing.

There are also questions about scripting of the two movies that are called out, such as the idea in the first movie that Alice had been to Underland before, yet in Through the Looking Glass everyone proclaims that Alice had not been in Wonderland's past, so there was no danger of her running into herself...yes, I suppose that theoretically there was no reason for her to encounter herself at those specific points, but to say that she had not been there in the past was just plain wrong! 

Still, the movie ignites a certain childish delight, while illustrating its points with Burton's dark handiwork, so I'd have to find it at least somewhat agreeable in it's art style and overarching "She's gone mad!" feeling.

RATING:

Nine out of Ten mad hatters would give this movie Two Paper Hats, out of Five.

Spider-Kid: CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR (2016)

NEW MOVIE!!!
Is it time to talk about a new movie again? Not really, just a new character.

TITLE: Captain America: Civil War


SUMMARY:

Political interference in the Avengers' activities causes a rift between former allies Captain America and Iron Man.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE:

Who cares?! This one isn't a review of the movie, I just saw a character that I did not care for, and everyone else seems to love him! Who was it? Spider-Kid.

So, no, not Spider-Kid, that might be an entity somewhere in the Marvel-verse, Spider-Man, the Marvel Cinematic Universe character. This character:

 Thanks geek.com

So I guess I should start with saying what I envision Peter Parker as, right? So, in his humble beginnings Peter Parker, the Spider-Man, is a nerdy science club attending high schooler struggling to make ends meet for his elderly Aunt May after the murder of his Uncle Ben. Peter builds his own gadgets relying on a mixture of his own genius and the science club's equipment (which is sometimes replaced and sometimes...less so). How does he make ends meet? Selling photos of himself being a superhero to the Daily Bugle.

Great, so that's what Parker starts out as. So, let's jump right to our "new Parker." Peter Parker as introduced by Marvel in the Civil War movies is a kid (he's probably supposed to be 16, but shall we compare him to the comic book?)

Good ol' classic comic books, with their high-quality, life-like artwork. I don't know what it is about him, he's no taller than Maguire, but he just seems too young. 

Speaking of comparing to the comic book/every source used so far, why is Aunt May:

Portrayed by Marisa Tomei like this:

All of that's beside the point right? I ought to focus on characterization instead of casting (never mind the fact that these actors are paid tons of money to act and look like the characters they're portraying). 

So, Spider-Kid is pretty jovial, makes a few jokes throughout the movie, even giving a shout-out to Empire Strikes Back as he goes all Snowspeeder on Ant-Man. But, he doesn't just quip, he legit fanboys throughout the entire fight, obsessing over every little detail thrown his way, the character claims he wears goggles with his old suit in order to maintain his focus, because the heightened spider senses are distracting, and he's very narrow-minded.

For starters, the guy freaks out when he meets every single character, and everything he sees throughout the only fight he's featured in cranks his chatterbox up to 11. Occasionally quipping to throw his enemies off is great, freaking out because someone has a mechanical arm when you rode into battle with two men in battle suits...stupid. 

Second point, doesn't need a lot of explaining, Parker doesn't have ADD, and the Spider-Sense/enhanced spider senses do not slow down his processing or distract him, the whole point in these enhanced senses is that the body adapts to allow for them and take advantage of them. Also, the Spider-Sense is weird, and happily they weren't referring directly to that. Then there's the whole argument with Captain America. 

Peter fancies himself a champion of the little man, a superhero, and a good guy. So...why is it that when Captain America says Peter doesn't understand, Peter says "Stark said you would say that." Come on, Peter Parker of all people doesn't look up to Tony Stark as such a perfect being that he would just brush off everything anyone else tells him. 

Remember that whole struggling to make ends meet thing? Well he seems to live in a pretty nice apartment, with a flat screen TV, a super-model aunt and...a computer he salvaged from dumpster-diving...wait what? Okay, setting aside the fact that he should not have to scrounge up equipment with the way his house is arranged, Peter Parker's not a dumpster diver, he borrows equipment from school. 

Finally, last but not least, without further ado, I present the origin argument. Captain America: Civil War draws it's name and premise from a series of comic books tied together with the neat little title/subtitle "Civil War," in this series of comics Peter Parker is not a twelve year old who was recently bit by a spider, no...he's like 22 or older, and he's working for Tony Stark. That's where the new suit comes from. That's why Peter initially takes Tony's side. Oh, speaking of new suit...not this:

But this:

Even if this is a different universe in which Spider-Man is 16 and Stark is only just now meeting him, does it not seem in Stark's nature to build a suit with his preferred color scheme, and to trick it out as much as possible?

Anyway, that's my rant. I don't like the new Spider-Kid and I'm hoping the Homecoming movie somehow changes that opinion, but I'm doubting it.

May the Fourth Be With You: STAR WARS

GENERIC POST
Today's International Star Wars Day (and the paper's running that across the top of the front page) so we're doing a little generic post today! Not even entirely themed around cinema, because anyone who knows me knows that since Disney bought LucasArts I've been looking for one particular movie trilogy, and it was not a sequel to the original.



Because COME ON! He's like the granddaddy of all Sith Lords (screw you Revan, you don't count.)

 Actually, this trailer...

Y'know what? Instead of some generic story about how great one of the greatest film franchises of all time is, I think I will make this one about a single cinematic idea. That one!

That's the trilogy we deserve, and the one we need. A story that's not rife with overdone with characters, extrapolated nonsense and derivative useless villains. I'm not one to say a Star Wars movie sucks, I'll generally admit that I like all seven, I'll pick favorites and choose sides just like most anyone else, but generally they're all pretty good movies. At the same time, why not take a new approach, from an old legend, and give a true Sith the lime light.



As simply fantastic as a continuing existence of the Sith is, as they are the Tails of the Force coin, the inevitable Yin to the Jedi's Yang, it's kind of a given, we don't need another movie to say "Oh, by the way, Luke failed." Although, realistically, he didn't. If the entire purpose of the Skywalker line was bring to balance to the force, and Ben Solo turned all evil and became a Sith lord, and left the light side with one master, who would seek out an apprentice, and the dark side with one master and apprentice, their goal is achieved. Balance would exist in the force. If anything, when Anakin went all monster-baby-killer in Episode III he was fulfilling the prophecy.

But, all of that aside, Kylo Ren is just a terrible Sith. Sure, he has the "being emotional" thing down, but...if being emotional was what it took to be a good Sith, he wouldn't lose so terribly. He's a child, he fights like a child, he thinks like a child and he throws tantrums like a child. As much as we want Kylo Ren to be this epitome of evil, he's only a toddler with a lightsaber. The Sith can't just be emotional, otherwise they lose almost everything they have. Sidious succeeded in all of the Sith's goals (except eliminating the Jedi, but if Vader weren't so useless that wouldn't have been a problem, just KILL PADME!) not by being an emotional little brat, but by being cunning, calm and in control. That didn't prevent him from having anger or expressing hatred, but he knew how and when to do it, and he harnessed that preparedness for the future. Sounds like someone else...

 Didn't watch this video...just liked the image.

Darth Bane, the originator of the modern Rule of Two (if I recall Revan first thought up the idea, but hey, he couldn't choose between the Jedi and the Sith, so whatever,) is perhaps the epitome of the Sith (until his final days, where he kind of screws things up due to the very basis of his ideology,) introducing the system of power purification that would eventually lead to the (near) destruction of the Jedi, the fall of the Galactic Republic, and the establishment of a new Galactic Empire (for a couple decades.)

Bane represents all that the Dark Side ought to: cunning, power and treachery. With a will and desire to grow, no matter the cost, and a vision that spans centuries (see: Sidious' Galactic Empire.)

 Zannah and the Sith Code

So yeah, that first video I linked to, that Darth Bane Trilogy Movie Trailer. Why is Disney not doing this?! Sure, that trailer wasn't the most enthusing thing on youtube, amateur trailers seldom are, but it was darn decent for an amateur trailer, and the very idea of a Darth Bane movie makes my hair stand on end!

  Come on Disney...Do it!

That's it really, I guess, I just really like the Star Wars franchise and REALLY REALLY hope we get this movie some day. Although apparently that won't happen for at least another four years or something. Money grubbing Disney...refusing to do new things just because "Han Solo" and "Rogue Squadron" are so friggin' popular...

Thanks for joining me on this ranting dribble! Peace out!

Not Talking About a Movie: DEADPOOL (2016)

Watch Yourself
Yes technically I'm talking about a recent cinematic release, and no this has nothing to do with gaming, so we can't do what we did with Gods of Egypt and throw it into My Arcade. So...what are we talking about? This:

 What do you mean you can't tell what that is? I'll edit it a bit later...

Today's Leap Day, and Jessi wants to watch Leap Year, so I guess I'm going to instead just sort of piece this together, back on my birthday (Feb. 6) a friend ordered the Collector Corps Deadpool box. Now, I'm not the biggest fan of Deadpool, but I do definitely enjoy him, and I'm appreciative of the box. Why? Because it dropped some awesome loot, so let's get started.

 First of all, we have this sweet patch, which is not attached to anything except the box, and may not ever be attached to anything, don't know anyone who can sew, and don't know what I would sew it to anyway.

 Second is this pretty cool pin. It should be noted that these two are side by side when you first open the box.

 After that comes the thematic shirt, a pretty tight little Deadpool, I think he's reverse colored. Speaking of tight, he's also an extra-small with a female body-type cut, so I guess he's Jessi's now.

 Under the shirt we have this little variant cover Deadpool comic, courtesy of Collector Corps, like everything else. Pretty sweet, in mint condition, and in it's own sleeve of course.

 Next is a Dorbz limited edition "cowboy" vinyl, with the little hat and a horsey!

 Beside our Dorbz vinyl is a Pop! Vinyl, admittedly I'm more familiar with these little guys (I have a handful of Star Wars Pop!s lying around.

 Finally this little plush dudey is left inside the box all alone, don't worry buddy, we'll get you out and put you alongside my Robin plush, you can kick the crap out of him while everyone else sleeps!

Anyway...yeah, that's about it, glad to have the box of course, a little upset about the shirt...of course. But, Deadpool makes a nice addition to my vinyls, and the box is pretty nice itself:



Remind me later and we'll get a post about the actual movie! We'll also hopefully do a bit of editing on these photos! (Taken with a wide lens camera intended for action shots...so yeah these closeups are bad)

Gods Among Us: GODS OF EGYPT (2016)

TO TRUST OR NOT TO TRUST
I face a confusing situation, in my pre-movie observations, on the one-hand, many movies receive reviews that mislead me, for instance, The Witch, receiving mostly positive reviews and praise. On the other hand, we have Gods of Egypt, which did not disappoint quite as much as reviews suggested, but still was not a terrific cinematic experience. Anyway:

TITLE: Gods of Egypt

SUMMARY:
Mortal hero Bek teams with the god Horus in an alliance against Set, the merciless god of darkness who has usurped Egypt's throne, plunging the once peaceful and prosperous empire into chaos and conflict.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE:
I am no professional critic, we have reviewed this often, I am merely a man with an opinion. In my opinion, this was not a fantastic movie, on the other hand, I do think this could have made an amazing game. Could have being the keyword. Let's just start with the first major problem I spot, the entirety of the movie is CGI, the characters are of varying proportions, I understand, the gods needed to seem like gods, but this doesn't necessarily require that you make them bigger than the mortals. Just make them a little flashier, heck, keep them in their Animorph form and let them be 100% CGI, instead of the bungled mess that is extra large normal humans next to shrunken normal humans. 

Follow this up with what may very well be simply atrocious casting, or at the very least, generally terrible acting, and we're faced with a computer generated monster. Not the one that is apparently threatening the entire existence of the universe either. This one is worse than Aphophis. By the way, Apophis, ever heard of him? No? Put your hand down Egyptologist, no? Good, no one else has, and no one would blame you if you thought he was stolen straight out of Norse mythology. Come to think of it, what are the odds that almost every religion makes reference to a serpentine creature that will potentially bring about the downfall of all creation?

Right, the casting, I don't know if it's the actors' fault, or just really poor direction, but the characters in this movie do not reach their audience. For the most part they're just sort of there, and they only seem to portray any real connectivity to the situation itself when it's absolutely essential. "Oh, you're the Goddess of Love," yet you don't have the necessary concern about you to- do humane things. Add to this all around horrible character decisions, like letting a mad man take the throne with a dozen gods present who could very easily tag team him, or, I don't know, letting that same mad man run rampant with power immediately after instead of striking out with your godly powers, and you have some outstandingly poor characters. This is ALMOST redeemed with Horus and Bek's characterizations, except that Horus, with his all-seeing eyes, is basically ignorant of everything around him, and Bek, who is clearly very agile and skilled, pulls off everything through sheer good luck. "Roll the bones," as he says.

All of this is tied together with one thing that is absolutely amazing, they cast the Scottish raised Irishman as an Egyptian god. Don't get me wrong, Butler is a very convincing psychopath (because that is literally all the thought that went into Set's character "What if he's just crazy?" "I love it! Do it!") but in a cast of characters who do a pretty good job of not sounding out of place, all of them generally speaking what might be considered unaccented English, Butler can't help but drop a few accents into the movie. Maybe that's just more what made Seth a complete loon? What do you mean his name's Set, his lover called him Seth, I'm pretty sure she would know. Oh, did I not mention that? Look, guys, if you're going to do it wrong, just do it wrong and get it over with, call the bad guys one name, and call them the right name, or the wrong name (which they nailed on Apep, a.k.a. Apophis.)

Did I mention the entire movie is Computer Generated? Seriously, and I don't really have a problem with that. I mean, I really enjoy animated stuff. The thing is, it's trying to be realistic CGI, I guess? Plus, it's super flashy, like more so than the last three J.J. Abrams movies of note (in case you're wondering, that's Star Trek, Star Trek, and Star Wars.) 

SPOILER TIME!!!
Now, real quick, I just want to touch on the plot a minute. Set steals Horus' eyes, presumably so that he can't be opposed by the most powerful of his rivals (because Gods know no one else could touch him apparently.) Nope, he's actually on this mad killing quest so that he can collect the essence of each God, in order to become the ultimate life form. But even then he won't be satisfied. It's rather obvious looking back on it, but in the heat of the movie you don't catch it, and I suppose that's good. Stealing Horus' eyes, again, easy enough to explain. Then he cuts off his ex-ladies wings (I called her Neith, I think they called her Neithis, I'm pretty certain she's "the weaver.") This is your first hint, the next? A little bit of dialogue from Horus to Bek "(Osiris) was cut into 14 pieces...they never found his heart." I don't quite remember what daddy's heart did, but uncle wanted it, so he took it, just like any crazy uncle. Then comes the last piece of the puzzle, Thoth's mind. Which conveniently gets drawn out by our heroes, of course.

But that's not all, he becomes this all powerful creature, goes to see his daddy (that'd be Ra) and kills him, or it looks like he does anyway, and steals his spear. But not to take up daddy's position as guardian of all of existence, no, in order to wipe all of existence from...existence...by calling Apophis forth to devour the Nile...apparently the source of all life. Seriously? Your plan is to kill EVERYTHING, turning the world back into Chaos? When was the last time that worked? Oh yeah, never.

But yeah, that's the movie in a nutshell. It's not quite as bad as all of that negativity sounds, it's still a reasonably interesting story, set against some relatively untouched mythology, with a decent cast backing it up. Still would have made a better game. Hmmm....

RATING:
Nine out of Ten Transformer Gods would give this movie Three All Seeing Eyes, out of Five.

Not the best, but definitely not the worst, check it out when the opportunity presents itself, but don't go out of your way and spend a lot on it.

Wrongfully Wary: THE WITCH (2016)

AN UPDATE
We're done with posting every day, we're through, we're beyond this. You can get a similar statement by checking out My Arcade. Basically I'm not as enthralled about writing every day as I ought to be, or rather, about writing about movies as I wanted to be. Instead I'm turning a bit more attention toward brainstorming, and a bit less toward My Cinema and My Arcade. With any luck, this will lead into some material I can get published!

So, I'll still be updating the two blogs, just not every weekday. With that said...I've come to terms with the fact that, although I am relatively easily scared, I really enjoy horror movies, and so, I went and watched The Witch this weekend, and here's my first impression.

TITLE: The Witch


SUMMARY:

A family in 1630s New England is torn apart by the forces of witchcraft, black magic and possession.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE:

I didn't really care for it. Is that too blunt? Well, to be honest, I went into this movie expecting a full-blown horror movie, and as a result I had my hopes up for a different kind of movie, instead The Witch turned out to be a sort of period piece about the impacts of witchcraft and distrust in the 1600s. In that respect, I guess it did a pretty fantastic job.

The problem with that is I went into the theater expecting to have my pants scared off, and I left with the image of a wrinkly old woman irreversibly burned into my eyes. The scariest scenes of the movie played more on shock factor than actual scare value, and again, I understand that's not exactly what the director was going for, well maybe it should be advertised in a less eerie fashion. Additionally, the ending played out very differently from what I expected...allow me to explain in a-

SPOILER SECTION!

So, throughout the movie our heroine, Thomasin (don't get me started) loses her baby brother to the witch, loses her older brother to the witch, has her siblings turned against her by the witch (and her own stupidity!), has her father taken from her by Black Phillip (the family goat) presumably due to the witch, and then her mother turns against her and she's forced to kill her mother. Most other movies have just set the stage for a final battle against the witch, an attempt to end the malevolence of this evil lucifer-bound monster.

Nope...Thomasin decides to wander out to the pin that Black Phillip is kept in (remember that goat that killed her dad a moment ago?) and ask him to speak to her. Okay, fine, the character has lost her mind, grand. Nope! After two or three repetitions of requests, Black Phillip speaks. Offers her whatever she wants (except revenge, which she evidently does not want), asks if she sees a book, tells her to write her name in it, then they go off and join a coven in the woods, where she gets her first taste of witchcraft. Game over.

So yeah, that's the disappointing ending to The Witch. I'm sure it's nice to break the mold, but not when your audience is desperate for a few more good scares.

RATING:

Nine out of Ten Teat-eating ravens would give this movie Two Black Phillips out of Five.

I didn't enjoy it for the most part, but I will still say it's a decent period piece, just not my cup of tea. I do however, really appreciate Black Phillip, wish we had gotten to see the man behind the goat.

My Primary Source of Video Entertainment: YOUTUBE

A Different Update...
Hey guys, I'm kind of not feeling the whole "reviewing movies" thing right now, so obviously I should just not do that, it was never my intention. That doesn't mean I can just abandon my blog though! Instead I'm gonna just scrape the surface of an entertainment and information medium that absorbs a lot of my time.

Youtube.

So...over the next week or two, expect me not to post movie reviews, instead I'll probably be posting some info on my favorite youtubers and youtube videos. I won't promise that these youtubers are all PG-rated either, because they're not. Some of them are, and some of them actually try to be out of sheer respect for their subject matter and fandom, but not all of them. With that said I'll go ahead and break it down.

TITLE: Youtube


Simple enough? There's no need for like a summary section or even a personal critique section, because it's not a movie...so yeah. There.

The reason I've suddenly changed subjects like this is really because I spend far more time on youtube than I do watching television or streaming movies. Watching videos made by less than movie star people just entertains me more. Particularly the fact that most of the information I watch on youtube pertains to video games and the culture around them, not so much big budget films.

Here's a really brief list of some youtubers I watch regularly:
The Game Theorists
 Team Four Star
 TheJWittz
 PewDiePie
ScrewAttack

So yeah, these guys all do different sorts of videos that I really enjoy, and it should be noted that with the exception of TheJWittz and The Game Theorists, their videos can occasionally be pretty offensive. Also, I didn't list the individual contributors to each channel, but for the most part if the channel is a collaboration effort, like the Game Theorists and TeamFourStar, I also enjoy the material the contributors put out on the side (like Culture Shock by Gaijin Goomba!).

So...that's it for now, I've got a post that explains my sort of theme for the next indeterminate time period, and I've got a general idea of how these will go. So let's jump right into it...later.

Mistakes Are Often Artificial: AVENGERS, AGE OF ULTRON (2015)

FINALLY
First of all, FINALLY I'M ALMOST DONE WITH LAST WEEK! Secondly...FINALLY I'M COVERING A MARVEL MOVIE! The Marvel Cinematic Universe is quite frankly, probably my favorite film franchise. I love the Star Wars Universe, but frankly some things in it are getting thrown out that I feel like shouldn't be, meanwhile there are some things that probably shouldn't exist.

Now, don't misunderstand, I'm a bad fanboy, I haven't watched the Captain America movies because, frankly, Cap is my least favorite superhero, I mean he's a fine upstanding person, and his character isn't such that it can be called into question, but so are many firemen, and I don't like fireman movies. He's a strong, fast, smart superhero, and he's a great super-soldier, but that's it. On the other hand, I am super excited about Civil War, which I think would be better titled Avengers: Civil War, but whatever. Enough about that, let's cover one other thing before we jump into my brief review:

Pageviews! Lots of'em, I've hit 70 in the last three hours, and I hope everyone enjoyed my brief statement regarding the sheer epicness...epicity? Epicocity...hang on...okay, we have to make up a word here...the epicocity of The Matrix, seriously, one of my favorite movies, and I'll probably cover it in greater detail in the future, possibly just updating the old post. Anyway, yeah, thanks for checking my blog out!

TITLE: Avengers: Age of Ultron


SUMMARY:

When Tony Stark and Bruce Banner try to jump-start a dormant peacekeeping program called Ultron, things go horribly wrong and it's up to Earth's Mightiest Heroes to stop the villainous Ultron from enacting his terrible plans.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE:

Just gotta say, loved this movie, went and saw it in theaters and was thoroughly pleased. In all fairness, I'm not a big enough comic book nerd to know the original story behind Ultron, but I do know that loved this rendition on it. I mean, I really enjoy Sci-Fi, and that's part of the draw to Marvel comics for me, most of the characters are science fiction heroes. I mean, radioactive spider bite victims, gamma ray afflicted scientists, super soldiers, and men in exo-suits, Marvel brings it all, and wraps most of it up in a nice little Avenger package. Not to mention the more supernatural characters like Dr. Strange and even an alien twist on the Norse Gods. But yeah, Marvel.

Age of Ultron, I'll grant, is more a superhero movie than an Artificial Intelligence movie, but let's look at it, the movie centers around a scientist trying to protect the world from an alien invasion by introducing a fool-proof defense system, known as Ultron. He already has a super-AI butler that tends to everything he needs, so this is no great stretch, but the ultimate end-game is a bit out of even Tony Stark's league. Ol' Stark uses Norse technology to jumpstart his project. The end result is pretty terrifying from an armageddon scenario point of view. Cue epic fight scenes and existential break downs of our heroes and villains as they fight to secure humanity's safety from its greatest threat, itsel- I mean Ultron.

Really terrific movie with some emotional string jerking scenes, some awesome heroic battles, and the Hulk doing what the Hulk does. Additionally, this movie does a decent job of setting up for the upcoming Civil War! Can you believe it? Like they plan this junk or something.

RATING:

Nine out of Ten haywire world defense units would give this movie Five ancient artifacts of power out of Five.

Okay, I'll grant you there are some issues with the movie, like some characters' origin stories being just a little off in my experience, and some possibly glaring flaws that I overlooked because I was just enjoying it so much, but isn't that what's important? Being so good we don't care about the bad parts?

Beware the Machine Uprising: THE MATRIX (1999)

BAD AT THIS...
Can we just take a moment to look at this? I have a goal of five blogs a week based on a theme decided rather spur of the moment at the close of one week or the start of the next. Last week I managed to post only two reviews, with a third coming out Sunday, and a fourth...maybe a fifth...today.

The problem? I set myself on a path I didn't even want really, I originally intended to do this in order to put fingers to keyboard (pen to paper) and get some words out there, regardless of their focus, because writing a lot is supposed to improve your ability to write, no matter the subject. Instead of just doing this to vent a need to write though, I decided I would do a series of blog posts every week, and I'm still going to stick to that! So hop over to My Arcade for what should be a series of rapid posts regarding AI in video games (I only managed one post over there!).

TITLE: The Matrix


SUMMARY:

A computer hacker learns from mysterious rebels about the true nature of his reality and his role in the war against its controllers.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE:

Come on, we've already talked about it, this is The Wachowskis in their prime. The Matrix takes an already scary idea, machines take over the world (see: Terminator) and twists it into something just as terrifying, what if everything is a lie? Thomas Anderson, a.k.a. the hacker Neo, a.k.a. savior of the human race The One (an anagram of Neo, obviously) is perfectly satisfied in his boring office job and exciting night life as a hacker and tech dealer, well, not really. That's why, when a mysterious message appears on his computer, Neo goes out chasing the White Rabbit, encounters a group of people who are basically cyber terrorists, and gets caught up in a war he never knew existed, the war between humanity and the Machines. 

I'll go ahead and throw up a spoiler warning right here, in case you're one of those weirdos who hasn't seen the Matrix, it's a 1999 masterpiece, go watch it, now.

We're just talking about the first movie here right? Okay, so we're hit with this setting that says nothing of the sci-fi setting of the movie, except the opening. The opening sequence introduces us to Trinity, a woman who can run on walls, ninja kick cops into unconsciousness, and rather easily escape her pursuers by leaping between rooftops. Not only that, but we're also introduced to the agents, who at this point are just really tough, really powerful men in black who are out to take down Trinity. Then Trinity climbs into a phone booth, answers a phone call, and barely escapes near death.

So, yeah, definitely science fiction on some level, but what level? Well, would you believe the world as you know it is a computer simulation? No, well, that's how humans who have been freed from the Matrix view it, and Neo, our hero, is soon to be one of them. The movie revolves around an interesting plot and is put together well enough to spawn a constant stream of internet memes more than ten years later. How appropriate, since the Matrix is essentially the epitome of a technophobe's worst nightmare. Everything is put together very nicely, and while some people view the sequels as a perversion of an otherwise well put together movie, I can't help but feel like the sequels are just another layer on a delicious cake. Icing too.

There are of course some minor issues with this, such as Keanu Reeves' questionable approach to acting amazed, but other than that, and a sometimes difficult to follow plot to those who don't watch it willingly, this is fantastic. The characters are great, the music suits it, and the fight scenes are perfect. Bullet Time is utilized to the max and Neo is a kung fu master suddenly and to top it all off, we have an antagonist that will live forever, sort of.

RATING:

Nine out of Ten "Mr. Anderson"s would give this movie Five Sunglass removing "Whoa"s, out of Five.

It's probably not as great as I think to a lot of people who aren't me, but hey, I'm me, and I say this is one of the greatest movies ever. So go check it out, stop being that guy who hasn't seen the Matrix and the Lord of the Rings, come on.

I Thought About It, Therefore I Wrote About It: ERGO PROXY (2006)

Procrastination!!!
Have I not updated all week? No, I don't think so, oh well, I'm here now to update three times hopefully, and four times on My Arcade. Let's start...here:

TITLE: Ergo Proxy
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SUMMARY:

In a post-apocalyptic future humans live in peace with androids in a domed city. However, a strange series of murders has intruded into bored inspector Re-l Mayer's life.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE:

You know I have to do an obligatory anime every week, and I'm doing this one now! Ergo Proxy follows the adventures of Re-l Mayer and Vincent Law as they seek to understand their purpose in the world. Or something like that, it's set in a post-apocalyptic future where humans and machines, called entourages, coexist within domed cities. It's been a minute since I've watched the entire series, so pardon my possible incorrectness somewhere in this text.

Anyway, the series is set, like I said, in a very dark post-apocalypse world, with science-fiction/cyberpunk elements galore. There's a persona beyond Re-l and Vincent as well that is positively amazing and core to the plot, that we're actually introduced to in the first episode I believe. Regardless the core plot point itself is the existence of creatures known as Proxies, which I can't really explain in great detail without breaking into spoiler territory, but let's just say they're rather god-like in power. The point being, the setting is pretty well thought out.

Despite the dark, brooding nature of Re-l and the blandness of Vincent, the two actually draw a lot of attention from the viewer, and, in my case at least, I found it pretty easy to attach myself to the two. In fact, my first experience with the series was a brief five minute jaunt in the middle of the series, and it stuck with me so well I managed to look it up seven or eight years later.

RATING:

Nine out of Ten suddenly self-aware machines would give this movie Four random game show episodes, out of Five.

Speaking of random game show episodes, that's kind of a low and high point in the series, where our heroes randomly wind up in a game show with no explanation, and the audience gets explanations about a lot of the strangeness going on in the world.

Loving Machines: EX MACHINA (2015)

LITTLE LATE!
Had intended on throwing this up last night, but a spot of bad weather threw itself in my path, so we'll actually be updating with Ex Machina this morning, and hopefully one more tonight!

TITLE: Ex Machina


SUMMARY:

A young programmer is selected to participate in a ground-breaking experiment in synthetic intelligence by evaluating the human qualities of a breath-taking humanoid A.I.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE:

So...this one was interesting. Kind of messed up on multiple levels, and everything I was hoping for was ripped away from me! Let's start with characterization:

We are introduced in the first minute to our main character, Caleb Smith, who is an up and coming programmer employed by Blue Book, it seems like has several friends, or at least a lot of coworkers he associates with, as he received a message saying "You won!" and then thirty messages from friends congratulating him, and one who wanted to come with him...anyway. Caleb is a weird character, rather timid and awkward in almost all respects.

Within five minutes (because there are the elongated scenes of nothingness between Caleb winning and him arriving at the super secret base he was invited to) we meet Nathan Drake- sorry, Nathan Bateman. This one is even more odd, he's an accomplished programmer, apparently setting up the greatest search engine on earth at the age of thirteen. Since then he has aged though, developed a drinking problem, and become a body-builder. Seriously, this guy is a conglomeration of very different ideas. Oh, and he has anger management problems, and he may be a compulsive liar. There are some other character flaws, but we'll have to underline those, *winky face*. 

Our third character is Ava, our plot focus, she is Nathan Bateman's masterpiece, a human AI. She holds conversations masterfully, she has an expressive face, she's intuitive, and she's emotional. Of course, being that she has emotions and a new character was introduced to her environment, she falls in love with Caleb.

There is a fourth character, Kyoko, but she's less important, she is Nathan's Asian house servant and partner.

Shall we jump in now, after a period of dipping our toes in the exotic scenery's river?

SPOILERS!!!

Okay, so there's this budding romance between Caleb and Ava obviously, very enjoyable, until the end of the movie, oh my God. So the other character flaw that Nathan has? It actually fits with the whole introverted alcoholic genius thing (unlike the body builder motif), he's a sex addict. But because he's an introvert he doesn't have wild parties with lots of girls every day, instead he builds artificial women to sleep with. Four or five so far, with Kyoko being the latest. I believe his intention was for Ava to fall in love with him, but this is never stated, and if so, he failed. Something to do with keeping a sentient being trapped. 

There are some really non-sensical, yet totally believable ideas that follow this reveal, the most notable to me being that Caleb thinks he may be a machine. To figure out whether or not he is, he takes a razor blade and cuts his arm wide open. He may have been debating suicide, but I don't think so, I'm pretty convinced he was just really bad at decision making. This also includes a scene where Nathan wakes up a few minutes after passing out from intoxication and staying up all night (seems to me, in my experience anyway, if nothing disturbed you, you'd stay for hours), notices his card is missing, collapses to the floor (in desperation?), and then Caleb steps out of the door and finds his key on the floor. What super-genius doesn't realize he was already holding the card?

Then there's the big final boss battle, Nathan knocks Caleb unconscious after finding out that he's been outsmarted and Caleb managed to free Ava, Nathan goes to drag Ava back to her room, Kyoko stabs Nathan, Nathan kills Kyoko, Ava kills Nathan. Sure, final boss fights in robot movies are exciting and action packed. Not this one, Ava is portrayed as almost psychotic in this scene, as she doesn't desperately grab for the knife and assault Nathan, she methodically stands from her lying position, slowly draws the knife out of his back, and then gently slides the knife through his ribcage. Then Nathan stumbles away and slowly dies in a pool of his blood. 

There's this issue though, Nathan was right, he was always right. He insisted over and over that Ava felt emotions, and she does. He told Caleb a thousand times he was making a mistake, and he did. He assured him that Ava was just using him, and she was. In the final scene Ava repeats a very key line from before, earlier in the movie she asked Caleb to close his eyes and wait for her, when she returned she dressed up and pulled on a wig, creating a more human appearance. In this scene she asks him to wait there, she goes into Nathan's room, peels the skin away from one of the abandoned sex-doll robots, and attaches it to herself. Then, she locks Caleb in the room, and leaves. 

The end. Seriously, good idea, good twist ending, but I probably won't be watching this one again for a while.

RATING:

Nine out of Ten Sentient AIs would give this move Three classy robot sex scenes, out of Five.

I can safely say the first watch of this isn't terrible, but after your first viewing, there's a good chance you won't watch it again. The movie isn't paced very well, it's slow and monotonous ninety percent of the time.

Skynet is Coming: TERMINATOR GENISYS (2015)

MACHINE TALK
Let's talk machines, for the rest of the week, on both blogs. My Arcade will cover AIs in video games, and My Cinema will cover machines and AIs in film. Will we finally get to see a Matrix blog? Maybe, but for now let's tackle the movie I just got done watching.

TITLE: Terminator Genisys


DETAILS:
...will be dropped from this point on. The Details section is a great thing when dealing with foreign movies and obscurities, but for the time being I'm hitting mainstream titles, and the "details" I provide hardly cover all the bases, nor do they really provide new information.

SUMMARY:
When John Connor, leader of the human resistance, sends Sgt. Kyle Reese back to 1984 to protect Sarah Connor and safeguard the future, an unexpected turn of events creates a fractured timeline.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE:
Okay, real quick, someone tip me off, do I have to watch the Sarah Connor Chronicles to figure out what's going on in this alternate timeline? Because there's seriously no clarity to be found here. Okay, random spot of irritation done there.

Great movie, really enjoyed, it I laughed, I frowned, I never cried, because it's not appropriate to cry in a movie like this, but it did move me a bit. The story, as you would expect from a Terminator movie, follows a human from the future, Sarah Connor, and a psychopathic killer robot...and another killer robot...and another killer robot...for a while anyway. So yeah, a classic Terminator movie.

So here's the gist, in case the summary doesn't explain it well enough, Kyle Reese goes back in time to mate with Sarah Connor...I mean protect Sarah Connor, but she doesn't need protection, she's a strong independent woman with a powerful butt-kicking robot sidekick, known only as Pops...and T-800...and "Guardian" in the credits. Whatever. This has just as much time-travel shenanigans as the first two movies, with not only a causality loop, but a causality defiance combined with a potentially universe altering time-hop.

I won't go into so many details that I ruin the ending of the movie, but I will tell you what I enjoyed the most. Schwarzenegger, right down to the line he apparently has to say in every movie "I'll be back." The idea of the T-800 developing a human-like personality is fantastic and played-up very well as the movie progresses. That combined with an over-all decent cast made for some good story-telling. Partner good-storytelling with a musical score that never put me off, but didn't really draw a lot of attention to itself, and fight scenes that weren't trying to be realistic, but instead took advantage of the over-the-top science fiction setting and released an epic battle between obsole- I'm sorry- old and new.

RATING:
Nine out of Ten old models remastered would give this movie Four magnetic sucker punches, out of Five.

If you haven't watched this movie yet, what are you waiting for? Place your hand on your partner, look them dead in the eye, reach for the keys and say, in your best T-800 voice, "I'll be back."

Receiving the Dystopia: THE GIVER (2014)

FINALLY!
Last post in my dystopias series and, I should note, I'm actually surprisingly pleased with this one. Typically these movies and shows are things I've already watched because I was curious about this one, but today's topic I actually stayed up and watched last night because it was crunch time and I was stuck, and, despite a lot of flack my fiancée was giving it, this is actually a pretty good movie.

TITLE: The Giver


DETAILS:
            DIRECTOR: Philip Noyce
            LEAD ACTOR: Brenton Thwaites
            ANTAGONIST LEAD: Meryl Streep

SUMMARY: 

In a seemingly perfect community, without war, pain, suffering, differences or choice, a young boy is chosen to learn from an elderly man about the true pain and pleasure of the "real" world.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE:

There are a lot of things that put me off about this movie at first glance, for starters, the opening does not do a lot to grab attention, except in explaining that the characters aren't in the real world. I guess, you kind of have to go into this movie with the intention of enjoying it, it's not a movie that will grab your attention when you flip through channels and happen across it. Due to the overall plot, the first quarter-hour of the movie is dull, we're introduced to our characters and what seems to be anxiousness, in a world without emotion that seems strange, but this world, for whatever reason, makes a distinction between emotion and "feelings," feelings being the temporary spurts of...well they're emotions darn it, temporary spurts of emotion like pride, joy, happiness, anxiety, fear, and other such nonsense. But, "emotions," are different, they're the extremes basically, like love and hate. This is one of those things that becomes very irritating about the whole experience. One of the rules the characters must follow is speaking with clarity of purpose, and for clarity's sake, I don't think any statement can be more clear than "love." Sure, it has a lot of applications, but love is generally a pretty good term for endearment, pride, happiness with another, and a lot of other ideas. Yet, every time a character uses the term love, they're asked for clarity, and the phrase is treated as if it has no meaning, but the characters then make statements that directly relate to feelings of love, even if the attachment isn't there.

Moving on from the terrifying idea that emotions and feelings are different things, the setting itself is pretty sound, drugs that suppress emotional response, employment opportunities decided based on capability and need, not just randomly decided by the person, everyone has a niche they need to fill, and they do fill it. No artists that want to be actors, no nuclear physicists out designing video games, everyone does what they're supposed to. Except the main character of course, he's practically an exile in nature as he receives forbidden information as a necessity for his position. Nothing about the movie can really be attributed to the movie though, can they? After all, it's all the fault of the original novel, right?

Maybe that's true, but at least the characters could be more devoid of emotion if they were meant to be devoid of emotion! Instead everyone seems anxious, curious, and occasionally downright angry about something.

Y'know what? I'm done.

RATING:

Nine out of Ten Givers would give this movie Two memories you're not ready for, out of Five.

Blame it on the book or poor directing, but this movie did not seem coherent at all. It wasn't terrible as far as its core ideas go, but I would not suggest you go out and throw a theater party for it.

The False Peace of Dystopias: THE HUNGER GAMES (2012)

WORK HARDER
Maybe I could, bug I haven't so far. I needed to have rewatched this movie, and watched one other movie to finish the list over the weekend, but I didn't, instead I chose to play video games all day, not even video games that helped me with My Arcade either. So whatever, anyway, here it is, dystopia #4, the Hunger Games.

TITLE: The Hunger Games


SUMMARY:

Katniss Everdeen voluntarily takes her younger sister's place in the Hunger Games, a televised competition in which two teenagers from each of the twelve Districts of Panem are chosen at random to fight to the death.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE:

This is, despite my prejudice against teen novels, a pretty good movie, good enough to attach me to the series and make me want to watch the rest. It's a little late, I'll grant you, but not as late as some of my others. We've got characters that are pretty well developed, in a setting that definitely has a plot boiling in it, although in the first movie we don't get exposed to all of that. It does exactly what the first movie in a series ought to do, introduce us to characters, and set the setting. 

We are introduced to our heroine Katniss Everdeen, who will evolve into memetic perfection with the one scene that makes this character:

She sacrifices herself to save her little sister from the horror of this dystopian world, the titular competition that rules the peace of the world, the Hunger Games, 24 children enter, one (or two) child leaves, and that is what the remainder of the movie centers around, her and her potential boyfriend entering the Hunger Games and surviving. No, no spoiler alert there, because there are four movies, and she is on the cover of the last one at the very least, so you know she survives. 

Good, well-fleshed-out setting, decent characters, and Haymitch, as portrayed by Woody Harrelson. I love this character, their alcoholic mentor who somehow survived the Hunger Games previously. He's fantastic and basically made the movies for me. That and the violence. The violence makes it even more bearable. 

RATING:

Nine out of Ten child tributes would give this movie Three mockingjay pins out of Five.

I said I enjoyed the movie enough to watch the sequels, but that doesn't actually take much. Sure it was a good, popular movie, but it's far from the best. Enjoy it if you watch it, if you don't, you can just watch any other teen novel movie recently made.

Inside a Dystopian Mind: PSYCHO-PASS (2013)

My Dystopia:

In my dystopian universe I struggle to write blog posts, even though I actually get excited about writing it. In my dystopian universe there are three less hours in the day than everyone else has. In my dystopian universe people wait until the last minute to complete anything, making everyone else's jobs harder.

Start the review:

TITLE: Psycho-Pass

SUMMARY:

Psycho-Pass follows Akane Tsunemori in a cyber-punk 2113 Japan, as joins to police force and seeks justice. The Sibyl System, a super computer system that measures the citizens' mental states, helps to prevent crimes from happening, by judging the guilty in advance, but one man breaks every notion of this supposed justice and challenges detective Tsunemori's own judgement.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE: 

Hope you guys don't mind the personal summary, I couldn't find a good short one to just copy and paste. We've reviewed that one of my favorite media forms is anime (that and video games), so of course anime are going to crop up in my lists. Particularly this list though! There are plenty of good dystopian future animes to choose from, but Psycho-Pass definitely stands out to me, because it reminds me a lot of Death Note actually. Follow along, if you will:

We kind of discussed the Sibyl System in the summary, basically it judges criminals before they act on their desires, obviously a broken system. At first glance, that sounds great, sure, no more rape, murder, arson or jay-walking. The thing is, we're judging them before they commit the crime, not only that, it's not fool-proof, very often criminals are not tagged before-hand. There are just a lot of issues with it, and, so that I don't have to throw up a spoiler warning, in the very first episode we see a potential flaw. The guns used by the police (called Dominators) have a lock on them, they will fire based on the criminal's level of danger, a green hue means the person you're aiming at is perfectly normal, they're no threat, so the gun will lock; a yellow hue means they are divergent from the normal state, liable to or are currently committing a crime, the gun will paralyze; a red hue means they are dangerous to society and must be eliminated, the Dominator converts to lethal elimination mode. Mind you, these people aren't necessarily murderers. In fact, based on the way the anime lays it out, people may not have the will to do evil things, but if they find evil things intriguing, or fantasize about them, they're capable of doing them, and therefore they can be put to death.

As an example scenario that the entire internet can relate to, if you're Adolf Hitler, but you never actually act on your desire to create a perfect race, you just sort of fantasize about it, the gun will switch to lethal eliminator mode, and kill you. Done. 

As a side note, the hue colors I mentioned aren't exactly correct, like the main character is supposed to have a light-blue hue I think (the best around?). Anyway, did I get off on a tangent? Anyway, suffice it to say I can easily justify this being a dystopia in that everyone fears that they'll be judged negatively and get kicked out of the system, permanently. In fact, it's possible to worry to much and get labeled a divergent! Like what the heck?!

Anyway, aside from that, the anime does a good job of giving us a detailed setting, with a lot of backstory to the surprise ending, and a collection of awesome characters. More specifically the main character's sidekick, Shinya Kogami, who actually acts as sort of the main character. There's also a particular scene that tore me up from the inside out, and reminded me that sometimes I get way too attached to characters in tv series. So yeah. The final arc of the anime serves to wrap everything up nicely, while also ensuring everything is kept fresh, and the show itself isn't long enough to get stale. Loved it.

RATING: 

Nine out of Ten system breaking psychopaths would give this one Five Lethal Eliminations, out of Five.

Seriously, this isn't my favorite anime ever, but it's definitely concise enough while being super detailed to earn a five star rating. I'm pretty generous, sure, but IMDB gives it an 8.3, MyAnimeList.com gives it 8.5, and so does TV.com, so it obviously did something right. A lot, it did a lot right.

Repossessing Dystopias: REPO-THE GENETIC OPERA (

INCOHERENCY!!!
I realize now my mistake, as I update this log of ideas accessible by the entire world, I find myself misunderstanding the terms I use. Dystopia, as defined by Webster's, is an imaginary place where people are unhappy and usually afraid because they are not treated fairly. This doesn't negate my previous uses of the word, just broadens my idea of what can be fairly called a dystopia.

I had this bizarre idea that a dystopia had to sound good on paper, but ultimately be revealed to be horrible, but based on this description the place doesn't even have to sound good on paper, it just has to suck all around. So yeah, I don't think that will adjust my list much, but it does bring a bit more light to the idea for me, so thanks internet!

TITLE: REPO: The Genetic Opera


DETAILS:
            DIRECTOR: Darren Bousman
            LEAD ACTRESS: Alexa PenaVega
            ANTAGONIST LEAD: Paul Sorvino

SUMMARY:

A worldwide epidemic encourages a biotech company to launch an organ-financing program similar in nature to a standard car loan. The repossession clause is a killer, however.

PERSONAL CRITIQUE:

This one I can see a lot of people not enjoying (so, just like most other movies really) but I personally really enjoyed "Repo!" It's an opera (as designated by its title) centering around a seventeen year old Shilo, as she will insist on pointing out any a rather off-setting number, who simply wants to be free of her father's obsessing. She's sick, dying of a blood disease she inherited from her mother, and is forbidden to ever step outside their home.

Meanwhile her father Nathan, played by Anthony Head, is contracted to serve GeneCo, the mega-corporation that may as well own the world, as a Repo-Man (the Repo-Man?) who must retrieve organs from the poor saps who can't afford their payments. That's right, organs on payment plans, that can be repossessed if you fail to pay. These two's fantastic performances are all wrapped up in a world dominated by darkness and envy, as every one on earth with a dime to their name seeks to get "better" organs and features.

The setting itself is fantastically done, early on we're introduced to our narrator who acts as drug dealer and harvester. He trades in an illegal form of a drug called Zydrate, which he harvests from the brains of the deceased (not the recently deceased either, cat goes through mass graves full of rotting bodies). Additionally, we're treated to the ignorance of those in the setting as they praise GeneCo for allowing them to obtain these perfect bodies, all good things must come to an end of course, but hey, perfect bodies are fun while they last.

SPOILERS!!!

Okay, so I can't say a lot of negative things about the film aside from Shilo's over the top musical number about her age, but there is one thing that kind of bothers me. We follow a plot where we learn that Rotti's three children are all incapable of running GeneCo, but Rotti is on his last leg, due to cancer of some sort. I don't quite remember what kind of cancer, but it seems to me that if you can just tear out and replace any organ, why not just replace the cancer infested one? I mean we have treatments that are generally successful at treating cancer, surely in a world like Repo!'s we can cure the stuff. But, whatever, they needed a feasible plot, and cancer is probably the best way for Rotti to die naturally.

Agree or disagree? Is this actually a utopia in disguise, a perfect society hidden behind one really crummy law and a dark setting? Maybe.

RATING:

Nine out of Ten singing grave robbers would give this movie Four shots of Zydrate, out of Five.

Get your musical fix with REPO! The Genetic Opera.